


My Stars, My Everything

by stories4u



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cancer, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8404432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories4u/pseuds/stories4u
Summary: How does John cope having two people to love, and those two people hate each other?





	1. Chapter 1

John Laurens arrived at Columbia College, forced to study Pre-Law by his father. It made him feel depressed, really, knowing he had no real control of his life and what he did with it. It was always that way, not in control, never in control. He sat in the cafeteria, scoffing down food, drawing at the same time. He didn’t remember the last time he had food, let alone a good meal. He sketched a cute but realistic turtle. 

 

Across the table from him, sat a boy named Alexander Hamilton. Well, not really across the table, and not really sitting. Alexander was laying down on the table sleeping. John looked up a couple times, giggling at the boy who was sleeping in front of him. Without any warning, however, Alexander rolled over in his sleep, falling off the table and onto John’s lap. John blushed a little, staring down at the man who was finally waking up.  
“Well, looks like I fell for you.” The small boy winks at John. Despite him just waking up, he took one look at John and used a pick up line. The small boy got up from John’s lap and walked away. John was confused. The boy (Who, he had to admit, he had a small crush on), walked away without even asking for his name. John shrugged it off. 

 

There was a vibration in his phone, giving John an email notification. The dorm lists were finally posted, and they were finally allowed to take their stuff up to their dorms. He looked at the name next to his. His roommate was someone named Alexander Hamilton. For the small information card next to his name, where you could get information for your roommate before you met them, nothing was listed except for ‘From the Caribbean’. John got what little things he had and carried it up the stairs to his dorm. He saw other students getting settled into their rooms, a couple looking like they already knew their roommate. 

 

Alexander was already in the dorm room, only having a small bag containing his almost broken computer and one change of clothes. He had gotten here on a full ride scholarship. He was anxious to meet his roommate. Maybe they could become friends? Alexander looked up from his computer when he heard the dorm door open. The site of the man made his heart leap in his chest. It was the man he fell on earlier while he was sleeping.   
“Hey look, it’s the guy I fell on! Or is it fell for..? Maybe a little of both..” Alexander smiled, holding out a hand for a handshake. The boy blushed as he took Alex’s hand, shaking it softly. “My name is Alexander Hamilton, by the way.” Alex smiled.  
“My name is John Laurens.” He replied, shy and soft. There was a fire buried in John’s eyes, buried below hurt and sadness. Alexander had fire in his eyes as well, though not as hidden as John’s.   
“There was a sheet full of questions they want us to ask each other, cause we’re roommates and stuff.” Alexander sat down on one of the two beds in the room, pulling John with him. “Okay so first, what are your pronouns?” Alex asks. “It’s always good to ask, rather than assuming.” Alex smiles softly.  
“Oh, I go by he/him. How about you?” John asked, resting his head on Alex’s shoulder to look over at the questions.  
“He/Him as well. Okay.. general information you would like me to know?” Alex asks.   
“I’m from South Carolina… son of Henry Laurens, and.. The rest of my life is unimportant.” John sighs. He looked a little angry when he mentioned his father, but decided not to mention it. “Oh, and I’m.. gay.” He says, closing his eyes so he couldn’t see Alex’s reaction. He was used to doing this in South Carolina.   
“Cool. I’m bisexual. I’m an orphan from the Caribbean, and I write a lot.” Alex smiles. He was hiding something, but John didn’t want to ask.  
“Do you have any triggers Alex?” John asks instead.  
“Yeah, a lot, actually. Storms are one.. And there is another one, but you won’t trigger me with it, so I won’t mention it and save myself the trouble.   
“Okay. I have a lot as well… uh.. I can’t be left alone.. Or be in the dark.. Or.. a lot of things you won’t trigger me with, so I also won’t mention it.” 

 

The men laugh together for a while over stupid jokes they tell each other. Alexander looks at John, and John looks back, staring into each other's eyes. Alexander leans forward slowly, and so does John. They close their eyes once their lips meet and they kiss softly. They hold there for a while before pulling away, blushing dark red. They look at each other, smiling a little.   
“Would you like to be my boyfriend?” John asks, smiling.  
“Of course I would.” Alex smiles back before leaning in for another kiss. 

 

Present Day

 

John smiled as his loving boyfriend typed away on the couch, on his computer.   
“I love you.” John smiles, snuggling closer to Alex and kissing his cheek.  
“I love you too.” Alex says, not looking up from his computer. It made John a little sad, how Alex never seemed to notice John anymore, but he would never admit it. They still hadn’t told each other their childhood stories, despite them dating for a couple years. He sighed sadly and got up.  
“I’m going to take a shower.” He says, getting up and going to the bathroom.   
“Wait!” Alexander called back to him, closing his laptop. “If I… take a break, for like, 2 weeks, will you stay out here?” He smiles softly, looking John in the eye. John wasn’t about to pass an offer like that up, so he calmly started walking back to the couch, sitting next to Alex.  
“Okay. I’ll take it. I’ll make you breakfast, though.” He smiles and kisses Alex on the forehead, getting up once again and making his way to the kitchen and pulling out pots and pans. Out of the corner of his eye, John could see Alex fiddling with something in his pocket. He continued cooking breakfast. He heard Alex coming up from behind him, hugging his arms around his waist. John smiled and kissed him.  
“Turn off the stove.” Alex whispers in his ear. John turns off the stove, turning around.  
“Why?” John asks, giggling a little. John watches helplessly as Alex gets down on one knee in front of him, smiling.   
“I had a whole speech and this whole place picked out.. But.. here we are. I thought it was the time.” He smiles and looks up at John, who looked like he was about to cry. “Will you marry me, John Laurens?” He asks.  
“Yes! Yes I love you so much!” He hugs Alex tightly, sobbing into his shoulder, happy. Alex slips the engagement ring onto John’s finger. He kisses John softly, tasting the salt that had dripped down from his tears.   
“Hey John, wanna go rub it in Madison’s face?” Alex smiles even wider. They both hated Jefferson and Madison. Jefferson had called Alex a ‘Creole Bastard’, one of the many names he was called by many people, and Madison called John a ‘F**’. Alex and John had stuck up for each other, of course, but what else were they supposed to do? It wouldn’t stop the names, and they knew it wouldn’t, but it felt nice to have support.  
“Of course I do!” John laughs and stands up, pulling Alex with him.  
“Let’s go, my love.” Alex kisses John as they stand up and walk out the door.

 

Alex and John held hands as they walked down the hall. They were never afraid, never tried to hide it, it was all okay. John knocked on Madison’s door, smiling wide. He felt mean, yes, but Madison deserved it. James Madison answered the door and looked down at the two men, frowning.   
“What do you want? You disturbed my date with a girl.” James was sure to bring out the word ‘girl’, making it louder and more clear than the other words, emphasizing it.   
“We’re engaged!” John giggles and shows Madison his ring finger, showing off the ring. John could have sworn that James Madison looked sad for a second before immediately turning back into the cold, hard, expression he always had.   
“You interrupted my date for this, you f***!? It was going well, and I come and answer the door, and see two people who shouldn’t be able to get married, get married!?” James Madison almost yells. John, being sensitive when it comes to this stuff, looked up at Madison, terrified. He started crying and whimpering, running down the hall and turning the corner. He slid down the wall of the empty hallway, sobbing. The air freshener didn’t make it any better. He hated the smell of strawberries. After a few minutes, he saw James Madison approach him. John was about to get up and leave, but saw that Madison also looked like he had been crying, and stayed for an explanation.  
“I’m sorry.” He heard James say.  
“You should be. You should never use.. That word.” John says, looking up at James.   
“I’m bisexual. I was trying to hide it, though,” James sighs. He doesn’t look at John. “And I got jealous, because I… have a crush on you. But I’m too late, because.. You’re engaged now.” He frowns and finally looks over at John. John stared at him for a few seconds before leaning in and kissing James. He knew it was wrong, somewhere deep inside, but it was only a pity kiss. Or, it should have been, but James kissed back, and John kept kissing him. They pull away for a second, looking at each other.   
“Let’s go to the park and finish this.” John whispers, pulling James up with him. 

 

John and James run to the park. James pulls John onto the first bench they see, and started making out with him. John ran his hands up James’ body, smiling a little into the kiss. They sat like this, making out for at least 5 minutes. Sure, John knew it was wrong, but he needed to do this. It was only a pity kiss, right? Well, maybe more than a kiss.

 

While they were making out, they heard someone approach them and gasp. John pulled away and looked at who it was. Eliza, Alex’s ex. She knew him and Alex were together, and Alex probably texted her about their engagement. She had a hand covering over her mouth and she looked angry.   
“How dare you!? He trusted you with his life, John! He just proposed to you, and you’re cheating on him!” She yelled at him. John looked over at James, unsure of what to do. James pulled out money from his wallet. $800, put in a stack of 8, 100 dollar bills. He handed it to Eliza.   
“Shh.. don’t tell Alex, and you get the money.” James said. Eliza sighed.   
“...I’ll think about it.” She says, taking the money and walking away. 

 

John looked over at James again. You could tell he had cried a little, out of fear.   
“Hey.. we’re going to get through this, okay?” James says, patting his back. “Let’s get you home, though.” James says, standing up and starting to walk, John trailing behind him. 

 

As Eliza walked, she already knew the answer. She burnt the money, throwing it onto the ground. She refused to lie to Alexander, hurt him even more. John didn’t deserve Alex. He barely did in the first place. She went up to his dorm and knocked, waiting for an answer. She felt sick, sick for John, sick for Alex, sick for the relationship she was about to ruin.  
“Hello? Oh, Eliza! What are you doing here?” Alex answers the door and smiles. “Do you know where John is at? James upset him and it’s been an hour. I’m getting worried that he hurt himself or something.” Alex asks.   
“He cheated on you. I’m so sorry. I saw him making out with James, at the park.” Eliza says. Alexander’s smile immediately goes away. He was speechless, helpless to the situation.


	2. Chapter 2

John ran back to his dorm. He saw Eliza talking to Alex, and Alex shaking and sobbing. John knew what was happening, and felt sick. He went up to Alex.   
“Babe.. please, I can explain.” He whispers as Eliza backs away, leaving only him and Alex.   
“No! Get away from me!” Alex yelled and ran down the hall to the library, still sobbing. John took a deep breath, finally letting the tears fall. He loved Alex, but in that moment, he realized he loved James, too. Why was he like this? He shouldn’t be like this. His father would be furious, finding out he was engaged, for one, and he liked two guys. 

 

John took a deep breath again. He knew Alex wouldn’t want to leave the library until he was dead, or overworked and passed out. He made Alex dinner and carried it to the library, sighing. He knocked on the door of the room Alex was in. He looked through the window on the door. Alex didn’t look up from his computer, not once. He slid the food through the crack under the door.   
“Alex I can explain.” He says through the door.  
“Go away. You’ve done enough.” Alex snaps, not looking up from his computer. The door was locked.  
“Well, I’ll stay out here until you come out.” John says.  
“I would rather die than see you again.” Alex says.  
“It was only a pity kiss. It didn’t have any feeling in it.” John argues. Alex was quiet. “Please eat something.” John says, pleading with Alex to not overwork himself to death. He could hear Alex get up and unlock the door. John opened it, looking at Alex. There were tears streaming down both of their faces. Without any warning, Alex hugged John tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.  
“I love you.” Alex whispers.  
“I love you too.” John whispers back. Alex looks up at him.   
“I only have a few rules.. If we’re still going to be together.” Alex says. “And get married.” He adds, laughing a little. “Let’s go get James, so I can tell him the rules as well. They involve him.” Alex says, grabbing John by the hand and walking with him.

 

Alex walks with John to James’ dorm. They both knock. James answers the door, and it looks like he had been crying as well. Alex takes a deep breath.   
“Hi, Madison.” Alex paints on a fake smile, when in reality, he really wanted to punch James in the face for making out with his fiance.   
“Hi, whats up?” James says, trying to sound casual.  
“Not much. Eliza told me everything, and since I’m taking John back.. There are a few rules that I need to tell the both of you.” Alex says. John and James both watch Alex. “Okay, first. You two are not allowed to talk, not allowed to touch, not even allowed to look at each other, okay?” Alex says, looking at both of them. They both nod, looking a little sad about the rule. “That’s.. Really the only rule I have. Goodbye, Madison.” Alex says, pulling John with him. While he trails behind Alex, he looks back at James sadly. James had collapsed on the ground, bawling. John waved a simple goodbye, and James waved back.

 

It was midnight. Alex was already asleep, for once. He needed it, after what happened today. John snuck out of the dorm, going over to James. He knocked on the door. James answered.  
“Hi, John. What are you doing here?” He whispers. John giggles a little.   
“Do you want to go on a date with me? Not like, a romantic date or anything.. But like, a date as friends. A friendly date.” He smiles softly. James laughs.  
“It’s the middle of the night, John. But I’ll take it. Where do you want to go?” He asks.   
“I wanted to go swimming at one of the ponds at the park. I’ve always wanted to swim in one of those.” He smiles, giggling a little.   
“Let’s go. But I don’t have anything to swim in..” James says, trailing off and looking down.  
“Well then we Skinny Dip. Not that hard.” He laughs. John had a slight southern drawl when he was tired, or when he didn’t care or have the energy to hide it. John felt happy as him and James walked down the hallway.  
“What made you come here in the first place anyway?” James asks, holding John’s hand as they walked.   
“Well, Alexander said we weren’t supposed to talk anymore, but I like you too.. As much as I like Alexander, so I snuck out and came over to you so that we could go out or something.” He smiles, leaning into James, not pulling away his hand.   
“You like me as much as you like Alexander?” James tried to hide his smile, but failed miserably.   
“Yeah!” John giggles, looking up at James.   
“Good, cause I like you too.” James kissed John’s forehead and continued walking. John blushed and held his hand tighter. 

 

They walked to the park, smiling and giggling at each others stories. Once they got to a small little pond where they could swim without anyone seeing them, they undressed and jumped into the pond. John shivered a little.  
“It’s cold in here.” John giggles. James swims closer to John, wrapping his arms around John and looking into his eyes.   
“I love you.” James whispers, pressing his nose up against John’s nose.   
“I love you too.” John whispers back, trying to tread the water. He splashed James, laughing, and swam away quickly, giggling.   
“I’m gonna get you!” James laughs and swims after John. 

 

They splash each other for a while before they both get out and air dry before getting dressed. John had a coughing fit, almost falling to the ground as he got dressed. James caught him and looked at John, worry and concern in his eyes. “John, are you okay?” He asks, helping him stand up.  
“Yeah, I just.. Don’t feel good.” He coughs again, leaning on James and coughing.   
“We can go back to my house. I have cough medicine I can give you.” James smiles and starts leading John back to the dorm halls. 

 

John coughs as they walk together. James was starting to panic, worried that it wasn’t just a bad cough. He sighed and kissed John softly, trying to calm John’s coughs down. They finally got back to the dorms and James opened his door. He pointed to the couch.   
“Just sit there, John. I’ll bring the medicine out to you.” James smiles, kissing him softly again before going back into the bathroom to find the medicine. 

 

John laid down on the couch. It was a struggle for him to breath at this point, and he could feel himself getting more and more tired, it getting harder to stay awake and breath and try not to cough. After a minute of him trying to get a deep breath, John passes out on the couch. It was a few minutes before James came back out and dropped the medicine once he saw John. He rushed over to John, calling 911 and holding his hand.   
“John.. John are you awake? Please tell me you’re okay..” James whispers, shaking him. He gives the medics their address, and before he knew it, they were there to pick John up.

 

The medics rush to the hospital, James riding in the ambulance. They don’t let James enter the hospital room John is in at first, for they are waking him up. It all felt so weird to him, the fact that he hasn’t even gotten to love John for more than one day, and yet John would be taken away from him. It hurt, more than anything. 

 

After a couple hours, a doctor comes down and finally tells James that he can go visit John. James had purposefully not told Alex about John being in the hospital so that him and John could spend much needed time together. James walked through the halls, thinking about what he would do to John. He would cuddle him to death, that’s for sure. James smiled a little at the thought. 

 

James walked into the hospital room, smiling at John. He walked over to his bed and held his hand tightly.  
“Hello, my darling.” James kissed John’s forehead, blushing. He brushed John’s hair out of his eyes, smiling as he ran his fingers through John’s curly hair.   
“Hi.” John whispers, smiling as he saw James. James kisses him softly, and John scoots over in the bed a little so that he could lay down as well. James gladly takes the offer, going to sit with John. They cuddle together, listening to the rhythm of their heartbeats beating together. 

 

Alex bursts into the hospital room, furious. The nurses had told Alex that James and John had been cuddling in the bed for the past day and a half.  
“John Laurens! I’ve been worried sick about you, because you didn’t return home, and I find out you got yourself into the hospital, and I run full speed here, and you’re cuddling James! You never even bothered to tell me!” Alex was holding back tears. John slowly climbed out of the bed and hugged Alex tightly.  
“Alex.. I love James as much as I love you. If it is alright with you, I would like an open relationship with both you and James, meaning you aren’t dating each other and me, like you would if we were in a poly relationship, but I’m still dating the both of you. Please, Alexander.” John looks Alex in the eyes, and Alex immediately softens.   
“Okay.. as long as you promise you’re marrying me.” Alex kisses John softly. John kisses back before getting back in the bed. He motions for Alex to join them cuddling. Alex glares at James, but gets in the bed anyway, cuddling John. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, having to share his John with someone else, but as long as John was happy, Alex would be willing to do anything.


End file.
